From Mom to Mamma ... my Journey

Today being Mother's Day got me reminiscing...

So growing up...MOM was someone who took care of you, made yummy pulao, bought us clothes, we went to buy groceries and other stuff with, gave us medicines when we were sick, basically someone who was a phone call away and just hearing her voice meant "Everything would be ok"; that I will be alright. She taught us to be responsible, independent and self reliant. 

Then came Appy...my effervescent 3 year old. It is like he had full control over me from the day I knew of his existence in my belly. He became the virtuoso, with me mesmerised in his tunes. Me a  workoholic, hate-to-stay-at-home kinda gal, took a complete 180° flip and decided to rest and take a break . Never had I looked forward to meeting a doctor every two weeks, now I waited eagerly for a sonography, just to get a glimpse of him.  God granted my wish to see him albeit, a little early.  Even admist the pain, chaos and anxiety the charmer knew how to enrapture. The most relaxing times were during the Kangaroo Mother Care sessions (KMC) when I got to hold him close, cuddle and feel him close to my heart. This living, breathing bundle of heart beats was mine to take care and nuture. 

Then we got him home, and all the reading, learning, all preparations came to an halt when I had to call his pediatrician within 10 hrs of getting him home, because I had wrapped him in 3 layers in the hot hot May summer and his temperature sore. ... from then to the next six months his pediatrician (bless his heart) was on my speed dial. I remember the night nurse and me sleeping like a ball on a 5 by 5 bed in my anxiety of not leaving him alone with her. I remember we staying awake till 5am because Appy had not taken a feed and then relaxing when he finally did and Dr Pradeep came into check on him at 6am. I remember the aweful time when Appy had the flu and I became a General nebulizing him 3 times in an hour, every 4 hours for 10 days, the time that he had to be admitted with a little cannula in his even tinner hand. Taking care of him, making him strong became my zeal passion and mission. 

It feels like yesterday when he turned 1 and then 2 and now 3. He is in preschool, and though I promised myself it was no big deal,  I cried dropping him off on his first day of school. My little baby had grown into a baby boy. Today he is eagerly learning from everyone and absorbing everything in and around him. He is a source of love, joy, endearment, naughtiness and a little being with his own sense of self. Everyday I look at him and admire the little miracle that Appy is for me. He is  my source of love, driver to hope and keeper of faith. His questions, gestures and unconditional love are a healing balm for my soul and spirit. Appy, You little pixie, for all your mischief-makings, still have me wrapped around your little finger and spellbound, all you have to say is -- MAMMA.

Chor Chor ...

That is what Our Prime minister Mr Modi is calling all middle class Businessmen/ Women.  My humble request to you Sir, is to please get out of Delhi, come to a 2-tier town like Jaipur and live the life of a middle class business man for a few months. 

You might have been a chai wala, an "aam admi" but you have lost touch with ground reality.  Sir, let me be outright" I Don't want to pay taxes".   I do not want to  willy nilly give the Government almost 40-45% of my hard earned income.  here are my reasons :

1.  I know my trade and work hard at generating the income ...  the government machinery or services or infrastructure provided has worsened. Now my  time is more likely to be  focussed on the direct &  indirect tax people and how to keep them at bay.  So I have very little time to focus on my work but more on Sales Tax , commercial tax, entry tax and what-not tax people who will suddenly visit my premise and act as if they own it.   Last whole week because of your disruption  my business has been disrupted. Will you bear the cost of business and time lost or should I add it to the provision " For the greater Good" ?

2.  I want to know the percentage of tax revenue given by the aam adami the common poor Indian citizen?  I am in the 33% tax bracket so I am paying a lot more than  a few thousands of people, and what am I getting in return? I drive on the same potholed road. I am subjected to more torture by the government machinery ... the same machinery whose gears I pay for... all in the need to do my business peacefully   .. not to buy arms and ammunition Dear Prime Minister but to have the peace of mind to focus on running my enterprise so that I can make more jobs for the nation. By the way  you had a programme called "Make in India"  how is it going?

3.  That reminds me ....  Do you know unemployment is a bigger threat to this nation than black money ?  today it so so difficult to find talent .. given the sad state of education in our land due to archaic  policies like reservation not to mention  overpopulation and brain drain.   Can we even picture  Sundar Pichai  if he had decided to stay back and work in India?  he would have been a nobody just struggling within the system .  Delhi to Jaipur is the same distance as Berlin to Bonn.  It takes 6+ hrs to come to Jaipur from Delhi and 57 minutes from Berlin to Bonn.  Yes Sir, 57 Minutes, give me that kind of infrastructure and I will pay  because that way  government would have provided/ helped in getting skill and expertise easily to my business.  

4.  Oh and all that education cess collected how is it been used under the NSLDC programme .. I bet useful results will be apparent after 10 years right ?  how about Swach bharat cess ?  after 25 years?  How are the municipality cleaning up the city or their act?  Jaipur is still as dirty and filthy as possible.. A cousin returned from Dubai and mentioned that 1 gali of  Jaipur has all the kachara you will find in entire Dubai.  

 

I am tired maybe I should just sit at home, not work and stop paying taxes that the government uses to subsidize those who dont pay tax ( the major vote bank).  Being poor in this country is a double award ... not only i dont have to pay taxes  I am awarded with a lot of subsidies and I am the poster boy/girl of this nation. not to mention no sales tax or any tax guy will visit my humble premise.  Oh and no body will call me a "Chor"  and say he has his eyes on me ... i can just sit twiddling my fingers on the pavement and enjoy a cup of chai from the tapri wala and say what a Chai wala... way to go our Prime Minister.

The perfect quote for the day

I fail, I rise, I make mistakes,
I Live, I Learn,
I've been hurt, but I'm alive,
I'm human and I'm not perfect
But I'm THANKFUL.:)

Five More Minutes And We’re Going On A Bike Ride.....

I recently read a story about Kylie Minogue. She had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and her boyfriend sometimes found her crying on the bathroom floor.

He would firmly tell her, “Okay, honey, you can cry for just five minutes, then I’m taking you on the bike for a ride.”

She’d think, “Hmm. Actually a bike ride sounds pretty good.”

This is the attitude to take. It doesn’t matter if sorrow comes again and again, just each time draw a line in the sand. And beyond that line make

Hurtful experiences, ones that emotionally and logistically reset our lives, leave us with two choices: open up more or close down.

The braver choice—the one that will allow new things to enter your life—is to open up.

So how about setting aside a few weeks to unfold this a little more? If you can’t climb out, dig out. Book yourself a few sessions with a counselor whether or not you feel like it or think it will help.

Go in, sit down, see what happens. Give your heart the chance to say everything it wants regarding the relationship and whatever is entwined with it. What emerges may surprise you.

Give yourself a new and different

Cynicism vs keeping faith

For me finding love was a dream, should I give up because I failed? I still want to believe that here is someone who will love me.. adore my very existence...would want to make me happy in 1000 different ways...miss me when I am not around ...basically love me silly ...coz he saw and felt the 1000 different things that I did to make him happy ...coz nothing was more important than my love ... He felt that I complimented his life...bought fun, laughter, strength in his life as much as he did in mine. So for him everything was nothing without me to share with.
Is this me living in a fairytale...refusing to be jaded?